NO TITLES

it’s become my shadow,
my pillow
and my only friend...
A bed to lie in...........

when i am unwell

While, if I envy you
or scorn your kind...
The chasm intervenes us...
Your mind is not my mind...

Today I feel rejected,
Or am I just
pushing you away...
The look I gave you
and the silence
says all I really want to say

This is all
All I’ve ever had
I’ve grown accustomed
Don’t you push me

Don’t... you.....push.......me.

I’m so qurky?
don’t you want me,
i’m so sweet.
I will adore you
More than I adore me
Im all you ever wanted
Just don’t look inside.

Pandora's kisses



written by Tui Cook
27/8/06

Butterfly Effect

My type seems to have gotten a bit screwed up, I hope it's still readable....
If everyone is wondering where my art is these days.....My scanner broke...I have to buy a new one......It’s a real bumma cause Jenni and I (my partner’s sister, she lives with us) have been drawing quite a bit lately.
Also I tried to sew leather on my sewing machine and now it won’t work either....
AHHH!!!! I still have the camera though....thank god...

This morning, i’m feeling a bit better. I realise That no matter what I wish for.....my body is not getting any younger. Im never going to be 18 or 19 again.....
And Im not going to ever be a boy!!
I was feeling so boring yesterday, till i made myself up.....
I not boring, Im anything but boring!!!! For sure!!
Im not sure who I am at times. I try on different skins.....Different attitudes....
Im having fun playing dress ups these days. I am very happy with my new style.
but am having trouble finding clothes that I like here in Mackay...
I may have to start shopping online!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im going out to a concert at the end of the week. It’s a band called The Butterfly Effect. We (Iain, Jenni and I) Are going to make ourselves right up and go out on the town. All the "beautiful people" are going to be converging on the entertainment centre.
People are coming from miles around. The country folk around here are going to be overrun this weekend!!! It’s gonna be heaps of fun. We’re gonna make a night (and morning!!) of it. Hopefully we will meet plenty of like-minded souls that we can hang out with in the future. There are plenty of “people” around, Im just to shy to talk to any of them. AHHH!!! Why??
At the Marilyn Manson concert I went to a few years was so cool......these were like 2000 people all at the entertainment centre in brisbane. It felt warm.....like a family....
And the Opeth Concert in the Valley was really comforting too. Usually people that dress like us are out of place...But at concerts...Everybody is there..Everyone you walk past is wicked looking.
In the streets before and after the show, it’s like a party.You see and say hi to people that you haven't seen since the last show you went to. They tell you all the shows that you have missed cause you didn't see the flyer.
Your swear you will be at the next big show and ALL of the small ones too....You laugh at the insane groupies that have followed the band up from melbourne.
There is this one chick called Rebecca. I have known her for about seven years. we see at almost every big (and small) show. She is always total made up and has a doll that she dresses up like the lead singer and puts make up all over. she is always in the front row waving the doll and screaming her guts out.
It doesn't seem to matter what band she is at...she loves them all and is always there.
Kinda reminds me of those pseudo protesters...
You will see the same people at every protest. “so what are we protesting today??”
But don’t get me wrong, she is cool...A touch of tha familiar.... I worry that im not memorable sometimes....But I am continually reminded by lovers, friends and family that no one is gonna forget me.. My name, face and magnetic personality make me unforgettable. I might have to believe that that one day!!! **dance hands**

THURS AUG 24 - MAIN ST. NIGHT CLUB , MACKAY, NTH QLD, 18+
with "REPEAT OFFENDER and "MY DYING DAYS"
Level 1, Dome Shopping Centre, Victoria Street Mackay, Qld. 07 49521844, Doors 8pm
Tickets on sale from Venue, TICKTEK 131931
$20 inc + bk fee presale, $25 on night!!!!!!

Feelin fine!!

I woke up this morning feeling ugly.....I called my mum, She always helps.
So i got off the phone, cut up this teeshirt to restyle it.
So now i'm hot again!!
bout time..

MY NEW OBSESSION!!

i got cut and dyed

my place

This is my place...

a pillowcase

Here is a pillowcase that I made for Iain from pretty offcuts.
I really like it.

And he flys through the air!!

This guys name is Turtum.
He's an asian Turtle With a fetish for Sumo......wrestlers!!
He's a REAL troublemaker!!

An introduction...

This is my first stuffed creature.
His name is Bill. (Cause he has to pay so many!)
He is feeling a bit disgruntled because he left his briefcase on the Subway.

Mackay Show Madness

So much has happened since I last entered a blog entry!!
My Son Jai had his eighth birthday. He got a tonne of cool presents including a small tv, a DIGITAL camera and a robosapian.
I know we spoil him but he is very mature for his age, and besides It's so fun to see his eyes light up.
Mum also sent me a lovely new Apple Laptop with I am using right now!! It was a little scary at first but I am getting used to it. It is so Mad!!! Thank you Mum!!
The other night we went to the Mackay Show. It was heaps of fun!!! We went on the rollercoaster...It was Jai's first time on a roller coaster! As we came down the first dip, a photo was taken. And here it is!!

my (ambitious) house plans

I wish to build a house that is both circular and spiraled.
I have added a third floor,
I have not drawn the upper portion (the third floor)
But it is a observation deck, with glass 1/2 walls, and a bed and bench.
A telescope could be kept up there.
Or it could just be a "alone room" (a small study??)
Ps: the blue line on the ground floor represents a 3/4 riverrock stone wall.

Family Temperance Pledge

I found this in the back of a cool old book
Check it out!!
It's a Hoot!!!
You'll have to click on it to read the text
(notice it's not signed by anyone!!)

TV

people (me in paticular) watch tv too much!!
Wouldn't THIS be cool as a living art piece??
be careful of broken glass,don't reach in and try to water from the front.
(the back has a latch and hinges, so open the tv from the back to care for the art inside!!)

mother's day

my wonderful mother

Illustrator pen tool... I command thee...
I just finished a stylized portrait of
MY WONDERFUL MOTHER!!!

maternal awe

I just saw a photo of my mum....
Hashi Meltzer.
Not only it she a great artist, and awesomely inspiring.....
But she has lost so much weight...She looks fantastic.
Wow.....

Fragmented mind
Another kind
Of song I sing today.

To me belong
The strains to strong
But still they fade away.....


Well I just finished attempting to read my doctors reports....
My mother sent them to me.
those reports really put the nail in the coffin...don't they??
How am I supposed to fight a whole bunch of official sounding test results??
What is written in those reports, those test results.....THAT IS NOT ME!!
HMMmmmmm
It seems to put to bed any ideas I had about being highly intelligent....
It's just a bit sad....

Oh self pity,
Is so pretty.
Help me sing,
this little ditty.

Hehehe

five more books

I brought home five new/old books.
Today I got
A big hardcover called
The Reader's Digest Complete Guide to Needlework

A book of short stories called
When the Churchyard Yawns

Another short story collection called
Creepy Stories

A humourous book called
Australian Pocket Guide to Babysitting by Joan Ozanne-Smith and Patricia Sebastian

A Storybook called
Paintbrush in Paris by Jill Butler

And a book called
The Plauge Dogs by Richard Adams (the same author as Watership Down)

Ive put myself down for Thurday afternoon.
If I couldn't do it, they would of had to close the shop!!